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Funny quotes about life

By: birthday quotes | Posted: Feb 26, 2011

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. So sit back and read these Funny quotes about life when you have nothing better to do.

The only reason people get lost in thought is because it's unfamiliar territory. 

"I put all my genius into my life; I put only my talent into my works."

Funny quotes - There are many in this old world of ours who hold that things break about even for all of us.  I have observed for example that we all get the same amount of ice.  The rich get it in the summertime and the poor get it in the winter.

Funny quotes - Admiration is a very short-lived passion, that immediately decays upon growing familiar with its object.

Quitting smoking is the easiest thing in the world. I've done it dozens of times.

"It is better to be beautiful than to be good, but it is better to be good than to be ugly."

"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams 

"If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire"

As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold. 

Life is a waste of time and time is a waste of life, so waste your time and have the time of your life !

"I have met a lot of hardboiled eggs in my time, but you're twenty minutes."

"Life is divided into the horrible and the miserable"

Funny quotes about life - When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car. 

Were it offered to my choice, I should have no objection to a repetition of the same life from its beginning, only asking the advantages authors have in a second edition to correct some faults in the first.

Common sense is the most evenly distributed quantity in the world. Everyone thinks he has enough.

Everyone has photographic memory; some just don't have the film. 

Admiration is a very short-lived passion, that immediately decays upon growing familiar with its object.

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Funny quotes - The best place that will make you smile with these really Funny quotes about life

 

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Funny quotes to live by in this life

By: birthday quotes | Posted: Feb 04, 2011

Funny Quotes To Live By are a great way to enjoy this life. Although life can be very difficult sometimes these Amazing Quotes To Live By can really help you to think in a positive way even in your darkest hour.

All men should strive to learn before they die what they are running from, and to, and why.

If you want to be happy for a year, plant a garden; If you want to be happy for life, plant a tree.  

Funny quotes to live by - In seeking wisdom thou art wise; in imagining that thou hast attained it - thou art a fool. 

Love is a fruit always in season and within reach of every hand. 

"Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit." ~ Kahlil Gibran

Happiness is not a horse, you cannot harness it.  

It is a common experience that a problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it. 

What lies before us and what lies behind us are tiny matters to what lies within us.

Funny quotes to live by - Life is like music; it must be composed by ear, feeling, and instinct, not by rule.

"My thoughts are free to go anywhere, but it's surprising how often they head in your direction." 

"Only a life lived for others is a life worthwhile."

It is the neglect of timely repair that makes rebuilding necessary. 

There is no happiness; there are only moments of happiness.

If you won't be better tomorrow than you were today, then what do you need tomorrow for?

"Life is like a ten-speed bicycle. Most of us have gears that we never use."

A girl and a guy can be just friends, but at one point or another they will fall for each other. Maybe temporarily, maybe at the wrong time, maybe too late, or maybe forever...

All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.

Treasure the love you receive above all. It will survive long after your good health has vanished.

You might regret what you do- but you'll you regret what you don't do so much more.

Everything I did in my life that was worthwhile I caught Hell for.

Life is a dream for the wise, a game for the fool, a comedy for the rich, a tragedy for the poor.

Heat is required to forge anything. Every great accomplishment is the story of a flaming heart.

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Amazing Quotes To Live By - The best place to find Funny Quotes To Live By

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Finding Good Funny Quotes for Free

By: audunholme | Posted: Sep 16, 2010

Nothing can cheer you up the way funny quotes can. At times, these quotes are the funniest and the most entertaining way to pass your time. These are merely a few words, simple and short, but they have immense power when it comes to bringing you immense joy and a lot of laughter. Once you read a few of these lovely quotes, you would know why so many people today seem to be hooked on to these. There are thousands of people who spend a great deal of time trying to find books and sources for these quotes so that they can read them whenever they are down or are feeling blue.

Great way to have some fun with quotes

Funny quotes can be ready anywhere and anytime. These little quotes can amuse you in just a few seconds and fill you up with laughter and energy. In fact, with the way that we lead our lives today, always busy and in a rush, these quotes are the best way to handle stress and tension. Spend a few minutes each day to read a few of these quotes and you would be vastly amused. This is also a great way to spend your time. On evenings with family, nothing can be better than laughing over a few quotes which will strengthen the bond of the family.

You can read them on weekends, on holidays, at nights, in the mornings or just about any time that you are bored and want to pass some time. You would find quotes according to topics and various categories like quotes on sex, women, men, family, office, politics, love, life etc. No matter what category you are interested in, you would be able to find quotes on that category.

Finding great free quotes

Why spend money on funny quotes when you can get them for free? There are quite a lot of ways in which you can find these quotes completely free of charge. The internet is the best place to find free quotes and they are great since you can read them any time you want, day or night without having to spend any money on them at all. Finding these quotes is quote easy. There are quite a lot of websites today that offer free quotes and various collections that you can choose from.

In order to find more variety in the type of funny quotes that you are interested in, search the quotes using the right topic. This way you would find the type of quotes that you enjoy the most. For example, if you want a few quotes that you can share with the colleagues at office, look for office quotes. You would be able to find hundreds of these quotes and you would have more fun sharing them with your colleagues.

Finding quotes that you can share with others

One of the best ways to enjoy free funny quotes is to share them with others. If you would be attending a party and are looking for a few quotes that would entertain everyone and would make them laugh, you can search for a few party quotes, or birthday quotes. You would find quotes that would be more relevant to the situation. If you are looking for quotes that you can share with your wife, then quotes on marriage, love, women and men are the best. You would find a huge variety of these quotes online.

Once you type in a keyword for search, make sure that you visit at least a few funny quotes websites. Check their collection and if you like the website, make sure that you add it to your favourites. That way you would have access to some of your favourite quote websites any time you want. You can even print out a few of these quotes and have them around your house. Choose the ones that are your favourites so that you would smile each time you read those quotes.

Finding funny quotes is actually quite easy today with the vast number of websites offering a good selection of quotes on all topics.

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Free Stupid Funny Quotes

By: Michelle Jones | Posted: Oct 27, 2009

You know how sometimes nothing is more entertaining than stupid funny quotes that make you laugh out loud. These short and simple quotes have the power to bring you laughter and joy in just a few seconds of reading them.

No wonder every day tens of thousands of people search for stupid, silly funny quotes. Maybe you are bored at work and want to find something to amuse you for a while to boost your energy.

You may even be at home on a lazy weekend, and are looking for a way to have fun and pass your time. Then funny quotes are a brilliant idea to add more fun and laughter to your day.

You can also search for online jokes and funny sayings in many topics in addition to humorous quotes. You can find all kinds of hilarious sayings and quotes about life, office, work, love, family, men and women, sex, and much more.

So when you are looking for funny sayings and quotes, where can you find the best and funniest ones? Here are some tips to help you...

So Where Can You Find Stupid Funny Quotes?

Finding funny quotes on the Internet is quite easy. There are many websites that offer them for free and you can easily find lots of them. But there are also a few tips to help you find the best and funniest quotes to enjoy the most.

Search for a Specific Topic to Find More Quotes

When you are searching for funny quotes, narrow down your search to the specific topic you like the most. This way you can find the best desired quotes that you will enjoy the most.

For example if you are at work and are bored, you may want to search for "funny office quotes", because it is related to your current situation and will be more fun.

Or if you are going to your friend's birthday party and want to amuse everyone with a few silly, stupid quotes, you can narrow down your search to this key phrase, "funny birthday quotes". So you will find the most related sunny quotes you are looking for.

It may be helpful to browse through a few different quotes websites to find some catchy, funny ones that really get your attention. Enjoy!

About the Author

 

Looking for Short Funny Quotes and sayings to make you laugh? Sometimes nothing is more humorous and entertaining than short funny quotes.

Then check out these new Famous Funny Movie Quotes to enjoy yourself and have a great time.

 

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5 Funny Quotes About Life

By: Wadzanai Nenzou | Posted: Sep 01, 2010

The fact is that life is what you make of it. If you view life in a certain way, that is the way you perceive it. Throughout the course of your life, you're going to come across some funny circumstances and some funny quotes.

Some of the funny quotes about life are used on a regular basis, and maybe you've even come up with a couple yourself. One thing you'll find is that although funny, these quotes about life are true, and some of them might even make you think!

1. "To those of you who received honors, awards, and distinctions, I say well done. And to the C students, I say you too may one day be president of the United States." - George W. Bush

George W. may not be viewed as the most intelligent man in the world, but he did make it to the top. This quote basically states that anyone can get to where they want to be in life. Probably you already know this to be true. All anything really takes is a little time, persistence, and effort. If you want something bad enough (even if you're considered "below average"), you can have it.

2. "You don't pay taxes - they take taxes." - Chris Rock

Chris Rock is known as one of the funniest comedians alive. What he said here was true. Taxes are an inevitable part of life. The truth is that no one wants to pay taxes, but they have to anyway, just like so many other things in life that people are forced to do. Everyone must work to make a living, and as a part of that, they must pay in order to get paid - ironic, isn't it?

3. "The trouble with the rat race is even if you win, you're still a rat." - Lily Tomlin

Everyone is on a race to get to the top. It's all about the type of career you have, as well as how much money you make. If you've got a legitimate amount of cash, then you're doing alright. People spend their whole lives working, and when they finally make it to the top, they realize one thing - they are still a rat. So basically, no matter how hard you work, you're still human, so it's best to just enjoy yourself in the process.

4. "You're always a little disappointing in person because you can't be the edited essence of yourself." - Mel Brooks

It's funny when you meet someone and they don't turn out to be exactly who you thought they were. Not only is a funny, but it's also a bit tragic. Something to realize after reading this quote is that no one is perfect. Everyone is human and full of mistakes and errors. Another thing is that people often make themselves out to be someone they are not. A good lesson to learn is to always be yourself and to accept who you are as a unique individual. Understand that you are not perfect, which is the beauty of it all.

5."Time is nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once." - Woody Allen

Time can be frustrating, especially if you're an inpatient person, but if you think about it, time is a true blessing. No matter how you interpret this quote, one thing is for sure, there are some things that none of us have any control over. No matter how badly you may want something in life, it's going to happen when it's the right time. When too much happens at once, people get behind, become stressed, and overwhelmed. Even too much of a good thing can be bad if there aren't spaces in between.

It's not surprising to find that there are so many funny life quotes. Once you start to view life in a much brighter light, things automatically begin looking up for you. Reading funny life quotes is an effective way to look at even the most unfortunate situations in a humorous light. Even though you may not realize it, just about everything has a bright, dark, and funny side!

About the Author
Wadzanai Nenzou Is A Writer And Owner Of Inspirational Quotes Change Lives Website. She Loves Compiling And Sharing Quotes. For More Life Quotes Go To Her Website http://www.inspirational-quotes-change-lives.com/lifequotes.html

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Funny Quotes And Sayings: 5 Ideas To Add Fun To Your Life

By: Alice Shown | Posted: Jan 17, 2011

Laughter is a crucial and indispensable part of our life. Our ancestors say that a life void of fun and excitement is not worth living. One of the best ways to keep the laughter motor of your life running is through funny quotes and sayings. There are many ways you can use these quotations to add fun to your life so that your mind feels refreshed every time you read them.

Funny Quotes and Sayings: Where to Use Them

Here are a few ideas to employ funny quotes and sayings in your daily life:

1.T-shirts: You must have heard of custom t-shirts. Get some of your favorite funny quotation printed on t-shirts. This is a good way to amuse others when you step out wearing such a t-shirt. Alternatively, you can gift such t-shirts to friends and see the smile spreading across their face.

2.Tattoo: If you love to have a tattoo on your body, select a small quotation that fits your sense of humor. Get it tattooed on a visible body part. It will make you look cool and bring a smile to the faces of those around you.

3.Online profile: If you are internet savvy and like to socialize on social media sites, such as Facebook, Twitter or MySpace, make a funny quotation as the status message of your profile. You can also keep on changing it from time to time, since there is no dearth of quotations online.

4.Inside the house: When you are in a low mood, a humorous quotation is the best way to feel better. Stick notes with hilarious quotations written on them on your bedroom wall, cupboard, refrigerator or kitchen cabinet.

5.In the office: Your employees also need motivation and a light atmosphere to work better. Get some banners ready with such quotations and place them on the walls of the office. This will impart a casual atmosphere and everybody will work without the feeling of stress.

Fun is the essence of life. Funny quotes and sayings are a medium to introduce this fun into your routine living to make it interesting.

About the Author
SearchQuotes is an online treasure of valuable funny quotes and sayings. You will always find quotations here that suit your mood, nature and sense of humor. To read these quotations, visit searchquotes.com.

Printed From http://www.articlesbase.com/quotes-articles/funny-quotes-and-sayings-5-ideas-to-add-fun-to-your-life-4050720.html

Funny Quotes to Live By

By: birthday quotes | Posted: Nov 11, 2010

Sometimes life is not easy; however this Funny Quotes To Live By might help you to solve life's little riddles and also to make you smile.

"This is so bad it's gone past good and back to bad again."

Funny quotes to live by  "Marriage is the alliance of two people, one of whom never remembers birthdays and the other who never forgets them."

The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. - Bill Watterson

Quotes To Live By Funny quotes to live by  "In primitive society, when native tribes beat the ground with clubs and yelled, it was called witchcraft; today, in civilized society, it is called golf." 

After doing Johnny I wanted to just do something, I wouldn't say innocent, but to not have any care in the world. Lots of setups and horrible happenings but its funny. 

can get up in the morning and look myself in the mirror and my family can look at me too and that's all that matters.
Lance Armstrong 

Funny quotes to live by  Love is a state in which a man sees things most decidedly as they are not. - Friedrich Nietzsche

You know what your problem is, it's that you haven't seen enough movies – all of life's riddles are answered in the movies.

"If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind someone and pinching him is probably a joke that gets old real fast."

Funny quotes to live by  Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet. Mae West 

Finish each day and be done with it.
You have done what you could; some blunders and absurdities have crept in;
forget them as soon as you can.
Tomorrow is a new day; you shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit
to be encumbered with your old nonsense.
- Ralph Waldo Emerson

I've never really understood that. It's a funny thing; people sometimes accuse us of condescending to our characters somehow-that to me is kind of inexplicable.

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Quotes To Live By - great collection of Funny Quotes To Live By to help you with your life.

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Funny quotes - Share it to your beloved ones

By: Stuart Michael M | Posted: Sep 27, 2010

The best moment in life can be said as presenting the funny quotes to your friends or to your beloved ones. This kind of happiness will create an unforgettable moment in life. In order to forget stress in school or at work, friends join together and share all funny quotes and enjoy their life. If you have plans for partying, then you can always call up few of your best buddies and have a wonderful party. You can feel relaxed by sharing all wonderful moments to your beloved ones or friends rather than keeping it in your mind.

 

Recently, funny quotes are also shared through internet and there are people who will forward certain funny mails to their friends online. If you are at work for a project in some other country, then you can always stay connected through internet with your beloved friends and share up your funny quotes. Particularly, facebook as well as Orkut has become a wonderful way to stay connected with friends at anytime, any day and anywhere. If possible, try to share all of your jokes in your work environment. It is very important to be responsible while at work but definitely, there might be some time to have big entertainment while on lunch hours or at tea break. The best way to make it more live is that try to have a competition between the employees on who is giving the best funny quote for the day and the winner will get rewarded for a free lunch from other colleagues.

 

It doesn't matter where you work or at what time you work; take at least some 15 minutes time to think on what all you have done that makes you laugh. You need to accept a fact that emotion plays an important role in people's life that creates fun as well as sad moments. 

 

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Visit us If you want to read quotes of Walter Williams Quotes and Thomas Sowell Quotes.

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Funny quotes to live by and friendship quotes

By: birthday quotes | Posted: Apr 03, 2011

Funny Quotes To Live Byare the secret of life. You make your friends feel welcome and at home. If you do that honestly, the rest takes care of itself. These Friendship Quotes will sure help you it this task.

 

Friendship is like money, easier made than kept.

 

I gather strength from life's storms.

 

Friends are people who borrow my books and set wet glasses on them.

 

I'm a classic example of all humorists — only funny when I'm working.

 

If life begins at 40, what are you supposed to do until then?

 

Funny quotes to live by - Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in their shoes. That way, you'll be a mile away and you'll have their shoes.

 

I don't know what the key to success is, but the key to failure is trying to please everyone.

 

Real life is just so unlike theory.

 

Friendship quotes - Be awfully nice to them going up, because you're going to meet them all coming down

 

Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

 

When you wish upon a shooting star, all your dreams will come true. Unless the star is really a meteor about to destroy the earth. Then, you're pretty much dead no matter what you wish for. Unless it's death by meteor.

 

Funny quotes to live by - College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage.

 

Because you mean a lot to me, when you cry, ill cry, when you laugh, ill laugh, when you jump out a window, i'll laugh again..

 

Laughter is the shortest distance between two friends.

 

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent.

 

I choose not to project my past onto my future.

 

A man's friendships are, like his will, invalidated by marriage,but they are also no less invalidated by the marriage of his friends.

 

Coming together is a beginning; keeping together is progress; and working together is success.

 

Friendship quotes - I've always said that in politics, your enemies can't hurt you, but your friends will kill you

 

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of the people I killed because they were annoying.

 

Marriage is a sort of friendship recognized by the police.

 

Of a gentleman who is frivolous none stand in awe, nor can his learning be sound. Make faithfulness and truth thy masters: have no friends unlike thyself: be not ashamed to mend thy faults.

 

You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him.

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Quotes To Live By - great collection of Friendship Quotes to help you with your life.

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